Thursday, November 3, 2011

Exits & Entrances

Steve's good friend Frank is getting his PhD right now in Marriage and Family Life and he shared the importance of exits and entrances in your day-to-day marriage.

Frank's professor explained how whenever he would step through the door, their family dog would go crazy - running around in circles, barking loudly, jumping up and down - that dog was so eager and excited for him to come home!  In this professor's marriage they now have a joke about trying to "Beat the Dog," meaning they try to show even more excitement than the dog about each other's arrivals :).

Some days I am watching the clock and so ready for Steve to come home and rescue me!  I often want to shove our cute kids into his arms and then fall down right there and crash on the ground.  But, we also want our husbands to be excited to come home and WE BOTH need a break!!

Focus for a week on becoming aware of what you do and say when your spouse is coming and going and try to do some special things for these important cross roads.  Here are some ideas:

  • Give your spouse a hug and kiss as they walk out the door
  • Put on some make-up and quickly fix your hair right before they get home
  • Have a special treat or even sparkling apple cider for when he comes home one day
  • When you meet up with your spouse after a long day, first encourage them to go for a run or do something that they personally enjoy to unwind!  I think you'll find that they will also want to later do the same for you.
  • Imagine what your spouse's day must have been like and express appreciation for all they did
  • Really any marriage ritual done continually, like praying each night together, forms commitment and provides identity to your marriage and relationship.  It shows the fruits of you putting EACH OTHER FIRST!  

What are some things you do for your exits & entrances?  I'd love to add your ideas to the list!


  1. I also like to clean up the house right before my husband comes home from work, that way he can feel the peace and calm that he needs after school or work. He even gets eager to come home and he mentions all the time how happy he is to come home! He says he doesn't really want me to go to the trouble of cleaning before but he can't deny he loves it even though it is going to be destroyed by my monsters! :P

  2. I love this blog, Mindy! It's so inspiring! I might steal your idea and start posting these types of things on my blog... :)

    Colt has to leave very early in the morning, so we decided that he would wake me up before he leaves, just for a minute, so we can pray together and kiss goodbye. It's a little harder when he comes home, because I have learned that he needs his unwinding/down-time before he's ready to talk and reconnect. But we do make sure we always get a kiss and good hug in as soon as he walks in the door. :)

  3. I'm not married, but my parents are very good at exits/entrances (and I plan to be someday!). My dad never leaves the house without a kiss goodbye from my mom. He would always give us kids a kiss on the forehead, but Mom was the last kiss before he walked out the door. When he got home, she was first. It was a joke when my siblings and I were younger, to try to sneak the first hug/kiss hello when he would get home... We'd run to try to beat Mom to the door, but Dad would always say, "Mom first."

    I don't usually comment on blog posts, but my parents' exit/entrance routine is one of my fondest childhood memories. I think it's one of the sweetest things a person can do for his/her spouse... and for their children! :)

  4. This is something I definitely need to work on in our marriage...I actually hate seeing him go every morning, knowing what is facing me in my day. So, sometimes I just say bye in passing and watch him leave or hear the door close and get on with my day! Even while writing this makes me feel like a horrible wife! I was so convicted when I was reading your entrance and exits and started thinking of ways to make him feel loved and special when he comes and goes! A few days a week when he gets home I have less than 10 mins. and I am out the door off to my evening job. Not the most ideal situation but this economy is the pitts. My marriage almost failed 3 yrs ago in May! When we started marriage counseling we listened to "Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs" So I reccomend that to every couple, so now that overall we are totally in love again...I need to start thinking of good ways to great my hard-working husband every day and show him the kind of love he deserves! Thanks for posting these helpful articles! Sincerly, Jeni

  5. My husband and I try to spend the last ten minutes before I leave together. Some days it's hard to pull him away from his computer, and some days I loose track of time and have to leave fast, but we try to spend a few minutes together, with a good hug, before I leave. When I get home, I drop my purse and then go find him to get another hug.

  6. This post is a great reminder for me. Most days I can't wait to hand over the baby as soon as my husband arrives home. I need to work better on the home time routine and allow him space to get back into home mode. Thanks for the reminder and tips to help. E