"Just LOVE them!"

I'm the type of person who is ALWAYS ASKING more experienced parents for ADVICE.  Since I'm still a young mother and experience is life's best teacher, I find WHOEVER I can ... older moms at the playground, old grannies at church, even strangers on airplanes, mothers in the doctor's waiting rooms...  Interestingly, I typically get pretty much the SAME ANSWER! ...

"JUST LOVE THEM!"

And honestly, usually I'm thinking to myself ... "Really, what a cop out!, Everyone loves their kids, Come on, give me some real ideas and advice!"   After 5 years or so of doing this, I'm starting to wonder... Do these women have a point?  Do they understand something powerful that I'm only beginning to grasp?!

In a moment of feeling powerless working in a special needs Guatemalan orphanage one summer, I asked the director of an NPO bringing wheelchairs - "What really can I do to help these children?!"  And he also said, "JUST LOVE THEM."  I thought - wait a minute! what about communication boards, what about teaching sign language, how can I improve their sad lives?  I couldn't give them a loving parent which they of course desperately needed, so I tried to give them all the love and attention I could muster.  Maybe that man knew that every child has a BASIC NEED to feel loved, accepted, taken care of, to feel that they belong.    

Lately, I've been inspired to put this to the test with my little ones.  For a week now, I've experimented with...

And reading this fun library book:

        

And it has been so interesting!  Maybe when our relationship is STRONGER, they are more likely to FEEL BETTER and LISTEN a LITTLE MORE to what we say.  Sure we need to teach our children right from wrong, and I'm not suggesting in the least to be a permissive parent.  Research shows HIGH EXPECTATIONS coupled with HIGH LOVE/WARMTH are the ingredients for the healthiest parenting.  But perhaps one of the greatest lessons we can give to our children is the knowledge that we LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY.
Just try it out - LOVING MORE - and see if all those older women had some wisdom after all :)