Q: "Hi! I found your blog on pinterest and I've been reading it for the past few hours! Your words are so encouraging! I was just wondering if you have any advice for a working mom? I have a 20 month old precious girl and I was blessed to be able to stay home with her for the first year but had to go back to work last November. I struggle with it every day that I have to drop her off at the babysitter's. I don't have many friends who are mom's and the ones that I have are stay at home moms. It's just so hard to handle all the guilt that I have leaving her everyday but yet knowing that I have to work. My husband is very supportive but I don't know that he understands the reality of what it's like for a mother leaving her child everyday, because men are made differently, and although he listens to me and tries to understand it would be nice to hear from a woman."
A: You are not alone! So many women are faced with similar situations where they have to work (or enjoy their job) but also want to be there for their children! Right now I'm working part time to help out financially - luckily my hours are somewhat flexible, but it can be so hard to be pulled away from our children during the day and/or our husband at night. I think it's natural for us women to take responsibility and ownership over our kids - even when we have husbands who are really involved and supportive as dads. Guilt is such a universal feeling mothers can have and we just never have enough time and just can't do it all.
That's so awesome that you were able to be home the first year!! I've thought about you lots and here are just a few thoughts... I think being selective in choosing a babysitter or daycare that you feel will be a positive influence and environment would be encouraging. And since you do have time away, I'm sure you value the time you do have with your children so much more. Even though you're likely exhausted and have lots to do after a long day's work, I bet you're doing what you can making the most of that precious time with her! And I think simplifying and saying no to whatever else you can so you have more time to be there after work. It also helps to find ways to give one-on-one time and attention... like maybe you could have a "girl's night" or a "date night" with her or have a special bedtime routine. You can have a great relationship with your little girl and work at the same time - I wish you the very best and hope someday you'll be able to stay home if that's what you want!
I was a child to a working mother and my sister is a working mother. My mom was fantastic about making sure that I knew that she was "the mom". She tells me that when I was your daughter's age she would come straight home and hold me and rock me and spend as much time with me as possible. My sister does the same thing with her little girl. One other thing that my sister does is she takes the week of her daughter's birthday off each year and spends the entire week doing fun things with her. My niece just turned 3. I am not sure you have that option, but it is something that has worked really well for my sister.
ReplyDeleteI was a single mom for the first three years of my son's life. His father was not in the picture at all, which means Mommy was in charge of providing EVERYTHING. This meant having to work fulltime (sometimes 2 and 3 jobs at a time) and taking so much time away from my son. I was blessed in that my parents were my child's babysitter, and while that is a relief in knowing he will be well taken care of, it is still heartbreaking knowing that someone else is witnessing all of your child's "firsts" because I am having to work. Like you, I had the joy of being able to be home with him for an extended amount of time after he was born (6 months) and that made it that much harder to go back to work. BUT...the reality is....sometimes we MUST work and in the end that IS what is truly best for our children. Children are a blessing, a gift from God, that we are priviledged to have for a period of time. If we have to work to provide for them, well then that is what we must do.
ReplyDeleteBoth of my parents worked. My sister and I were latch key kids for as long as I can remember...but we didn't feel like we were "missing out" on anything. We understood that this is what was required in our household and we were fine with it.
Make the most out of the time you have....and just remember...there is nothing sweeter than seeing the excitement on your girl's face when you walk in to pick her up at the end of the day :)
One of my readers just informed me about this website that has "10 Ways Working Moms Can Volunteer at School." Hope it may help someone out there! Thanks Carol!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nationalnannies.com/blog/10-ways-working-moms-can-volunteer-at-school/
Don't forget that Guilt in NOT from GOD. It is the enemy that makes us feel guilty. Not that you're wrong in feeling it just know that God isn't the one making you feel bad. With His helpyou can juggle both. And time doesn't always spell love...it's not racking up the hours with our kids that makes us good moms. It's the stability and support that they receive from us day in and day out. Satan likes to makes us moms feel like we aren't doing a good job if we aren't with our kids. That is false! I was a working mom for the first few years and yes it's hard but you can juggle it and raise kids that are pleasing to the Lord...even if u have a few more obstacles to cross...I'm thinking that as a stay at home mom my kids are more subject to my bad days and I wear out faster than when I was away...and i feel guilty for not always being that perfect mom....But if we present our hearts and actions as an act of worship to the Lord that's what matters. Not whether or not our kids are at a sitter.
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