To those who get your VERY BEST and your VERY WORST

Isn't it interesting the dynamics of marriage and family life?  It's a place where you are COMPLETELY EXPOSED - you are truly known for who you are.  Those people that you LOVE the most get your very best... but they also get your very worst!  For example, Brayden lately has not been taking naps, which means when 4pm rolls around... it's major cranky time!  It's interesting as the parent how impatient we can get when our children are being impatient.  It's so natural to start getting upset and to start lecturing... and that usually leads to more tears and tantrums.   Sure I want to teach my children not to throw things or throw raging tantrums when they are mad... BUT, yesterday was different...  I FIRST stopped.  I got down on all fours and said, "Brayden, looks like you need a big hug!  It's hard sometimes."  I was amazed - he quieted down for a moment, still sniffling, and nuzzled into me saying a pitiful "yeah."  I just wonder if sometimes the GREATER LESSON I could be teaching him is "Mommy will love you.  Mommy will understand you.  Mommy will be by your side, even when it's hard and even when you're having a really hard time."  I won't remember this during every tantrum and sometimes it's just TOUGH, but hopefully I'll have more and more these moments where I show EMPATHY and TEACH  about appropriate BEHAVIOR.  I need to remember how it's hard to handle my own emotions too when I'm tired, and hungry, and grumpy :)

Marriage, unlike other casual relationships, tests us to our very core and requires Christ-like attributes like forgiveness, love, understanding, patience.  When you are in a moment of frustration, remember... nothing you say will be helpful or effective unless the other person can feel LOVE behind what you say.  People react not nearly as much to the exact words you say but the intention and FEELING BEHIND THOSE WORDS.  When I am being short or irritable, I so appreciate the times when Steve CHOOSES to respond in a different way.  It's the easy and natural thing to be offended when someone is offensive.  To be rude and short with people who treat us in a similar way.  BUT, what if in that moment, we were stable as a person and saw the "offender" as someone who NEEDS MORE LOVE and understanding.  It's the HARDEST thing for us humans to do - to respond with love and compassion and understanding when we don't think they deserve it, but I believe that this is a more beautiful way to live.   Thank you Steve for putting up with me and loving me even when I'm not at my very best. :)  I love you and Brayden and Hailey more than air!  Thanks to you three for being patient with me as Mommy learns!