Tuesday, May 1, 2012

A Happy Couple's Secret Weapon...

We're back from our vacation to Arches National Park in Moab, Utah and are so missing it!... all of it except for the driving-little-children-straped-in-car-seats-for-way-too-long part!  Man, it was rejuvenating to get away - just our own little family - and play together.  Having a fresh re-charge is so healthy and absolutely necessary.  We even got to camp along a sandy beach surrounded by gorgeous red rock.  Camping with two littles also equated to our kids being perfectly toasty warm and us parents uncomfortably freezing all night :).  And lack of good sleep typically equates grouchiness.. and on rare occasions a case of giggles.   Luckily, I was in a continual giggly stage and everything Steve did or said was absolutely hilarious to me.  We had SO MUCH FUN laughing together that next day.  I re-discovered my love for the outdoors, AND I also re-discovered the POWER of FRIENDSHIP in marriage.  Husbands and Wives NEED to LAUGH more and to enjoy more shared experiences.  

John Gottman, well-renowned marriage therapist and researcher, wrote a great book entitled "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work."  Gottman not only knows his stuff academically and professionally, but he also has witnessed what works and doesn't work in marriage from his prolific research in observing couples.  In his introductory chapter he explains that a "happy couple's secret weapon" is "rediscovering or reinvigorating friendship."

THINK about WHAT HELPS CULTIVATE YOUR FRIENDSHIP?  Is it laughing together? thinking how your spouse sees love and then acting on that?  feeling attractive for your hubby?  serving others together?  thinking what he needs and trying to help meet that need?  going on a date just the two of you? Talking while giving back rubs? both of you feeling understood and validated? doing something fun together? ...

Whatever it is for you, I encourage you to rediscover the friendship you once had with your spouse... for it is a happy couple's secret weapon.


  1. That looks so fun. We're actually trying to get a trip together down to Arches in a few weeks and are having trouble reserving a campground. Maybe we'll try out your little secret.

  2. New to your blog, and I really love it!