DIY Children's Bookshelf - Book Covers Showing!

The day has come!  I've had the supplies for months , but I finally finished this bookshelf that displays the book covers!  My kids initiate reading tons more now, so I think it's worth every penny and all the effort!!  Here's how it's done...

Materials Needed:

Back Square Piece (34.5" x 36")

1 x 4 x 6' Wood boards (4 boards 34.5" for the perimeter, 2 boards 33" for shelves) 

6 Dowels (this time I tried the square ends rather than the circular ends)

Wood Filler or Wall Spackle

White Primer

Paint color

Tools Needed:

Power drill
Hand saw (to cut dowels to correct size)
Sand paper
Screws (1 5/8 in.)
Countersink tool (to embed your screws so you can cover with filler for smooth finish)

1. Decide what size bookshelf you want.  If you can get a back piece for cheap (like at Home Depot's "Cull Lumber" - which are their discounted scraps usually from 50 cents - $4) that may decide what size you can do.  For my previous bookshelf, I used Lowe's bead board so I had to do 2' x 3'.

I choose to have 4 pieces - 34.5" long.

2. Begin to screw all sides together.  I used my countersink tool to pre-drill holes for the screws.  After the screws were all in, I used wood filler to cover up the holes.  After it dries, you sand those spots.  

3. Screw the backing on.  I had trouble getting my square back to perfectly fit just fyi.  So mine doesn't match up just right.  I ended up having to do a lot of sanding and it wasn't at all perfect - but oh well!  I did about 4 screws along each side.

4. Put in your 2 middle shelves and screw them in along the sides and back.

 6. Sand the whole project.  First coarse and then fine.  Maybe it's because I bought the cheapest electric sander, but I think I prefer just using my hand.  My project could have used a ton more sanding but I just didn't have the time!  At one point I had Penny in my carrier and the kids swarming around me on their bikes in our community laundry room while I tried to bust out the electric sander!  It must have been a funny sight to see.

7. Prime and Paint.  You want to prime the new wood so your wood doesn't completely soak up all your final paint.  I used a roller brush and regular paint brush just for the edges.

8. Cut the dowels (which keep the books in) to just the right size.It's better to cut a little big at first since it's easy to quickly saw to make it a perfect fit.

9. Pre-drill pilot holes through the sides and dowels to prevent breaking the wood.  After screwing each dowel into place on both sides, cover holes with filler/spackle.  I also spackled each corner for a smoother finish.  When dry, sand those spots and touch up paint.

10. And  you have your awesome bookshelf!  I used these corner brackets (directly under the middle shelves, screwed into the wall studs) to make it extra sturdy.

Potty Train in 3 Days... It worked!!!!

We finally did it.  My oldest child is fully potty trained.  I secretly worried and wondered if the day would ever come :).  I made my first attempt when my little boy was just 2 and it seemed like he wasn't at all physiologically or verbally ready for it.  Then at 2 1/2, I tried again but it was an utter failure and a totally frustrating experience for all of us!  We tried the method of pumping him with lots of fluids, trying to keep him on the potty practically all day, and making him go to the potty like every 20 minutes.  Then we had a baby, and life was just too crazy.  We ended up back and forth in pull-ups for sleep and running errands and such.  It was NO GOOD.  So we took a break and put him back in diapers.

A friend whole-heartedly recommended "3 Day Potty Training" by Lora Jensen.  It's an ebook that you buy online and then you get the PDF electronic copy and a lifetime of one-on-one mentoring with Lora.  She doesn't just email one to two sentences.  She'll email you full paragraphs to help you with your specific questions.  This lady is brilliant and her method worked amazingly!!!  So here's basically what we did:

For Preparation:
-She recommends potty training as early as 22 months if they are showing the signs of readiness... basically that they have a way to communicate to you the need to go potty.  It worked for us at age 3.  She explains more signs in her ebook.

-Since we had previously started a different method that didn't work, we put him back in diapers completely for at least 30 days before starting this new method.

-we went to the store to let him pick out his own underwear.

-We made it a PARTY!  The night before, I taped balloons, some underwear, and  pictures of him on the bathroom door.

-We Decided on rewards we wanted to do.  For example, putting fuzz balls in a jar and opening up a dollar store gift when it's full.  Or M&Ms or fun stickers, etc.  We chose a special reward for #2 - go-gurts!   

-I stocked my fridge with a fun variety of exciting drinks.  We let him help pick these out too ... I put them all in a big container in the fridge a couple days before we began just to build up the excitement and suspense.

For Day 1:

-He woke up, and we marched to the bathroom to get super excited about our POTTY PARTY!  I over-emphasized how now he was a "BIG BOY" and how PROUD I was of him!  

-The KEY was to STAY POSITIVE and PRAISE continually for 3 days straight.  For 3 days, I needed to believe in him and not get frustrated.  

-We TOOK OFF his very LAST DIAPER and I had him THROW AWAY EVERY DIAPER/pull-up left.  This part is more for the parent than the child.  She says you MUST GET RID of every last one so you won't be tempted to revert back to them.

-Then, he got to pick out HIS FIRST UNDERWEAR to wear!

-We excitedly ran back to the potty, and I explained 2 things:

1. Keep your underwear DRY and

2. TELL MOMMY when you have to go

Absolutely NO more asking him if he needs to go.  You only say over and over again... "Tell Mommy when you need to go."  You now are fully trusting him that by the end of the 3 days, he will learn to tell you.  It may take the full 3 days and lots of accidents, but stick with it, and it will click.   

Tips for Days 1-3:

*For 3 full days, STAY RIGHT BY HIS SIDE!!  The key is to never leave his side so you can catch him "in the act," scoop him up, and run him to the potty to hopefully "FINISH" in the toilet.  Even if he only ends up going one drop into the toilet - PRAISE HIM!!  Stay positive and encouraging even in the midst of accidents.  Keep reminding him throughout the day to tell you when he needs to go, and be super excited every time he does tell you!!

*All throughout the day, praise him for staying dry.  You can ask him if he's dry, have him feel to check, and praise again.  

*NEVER force him to go.  No more making him "try" or requiring that he stay on the potty longer.  

* Since #2 is hard, make sure you pick a special reward that will mean a lot to your child.  To get this part totally down with no accidents, it took actually a little longer than 3 days for us.  

*We never reverted back to diapers/pull ups - even for naps and nights.  We did go through accidents and changing sheets and washing lots of underwear those first few days.  But he learned by following the steps Lora recommends for nap/sleep time...  We didn't give him liquids 2 hours before bedtime (which was a total change for us).  Check out the ebook for more suggestions and tips.  She has great ideas that totally helped us.  I honestly was suspicious that it wouldn't work, but he did it!!!!!  

There are so many potty training methods out there, but I'm so grateful that this finally worked for us.  THERE IS HOPE for us mothers!  

DATE NIGHT Ideas...

RECREATE YOUR FIRST DATE (or any special past date): What were you wearing?  Where did you go?  What did you do and talk about?  

BOOKSTORE DATE:  Go to the bookstore and pick some of these options:  an interesting magazine to browse, a cookbook recipe to make, a favorite picture book from your childhood, a travel book for a country you'd love to visit someday, some funny jokes in a joke book...

MOVIE NIGHT: Surprise your hubby with some sparkling cider, popcorn, and a movie.  Or blow up an air mattress in your front room or cuddle on the couch as you watch a Redbox rental and eat popcorn.  You could even check out a movie for free from the library.  Keep a running list of movies you want to watch together.

PICK OUT A BOOK:  Find a book that you would both enjoy and start reading it together.  

GET FIT: Exercise to a workout video together. Then enjoy a protein shake or fruit smoothie afterwards!

CANDLELIGHT BY WATER: Throw a blanket out near a river, pond, stream, and light a candle, eat some treat, and be together!

PLAN FOR A RUN:  Find a 5k, 10k, or ½ marathon to sign up for together.  Decide on your training plan.  You can even go on www.gmap-pedometer.com to find out how many miles are certain nearby runs.   

DOLLAR DATE: Grab food at a fast food restaurant’s dollar menu and go to the dollar store to pick something out for each other with a certain money limit.  You could even go to the dollar movies.

INDOOR CAMPOUT: Cook tin foil dinners in the oven, make smores with your broiler, read a book by flashlight, and sleep out in your front room!

PLAY GAMES: Buy a new game and play or enjoy one you already have!  Have treats to go with it and maybe even make a bet for what the winner gets.

Take an ONLINE PERSONALITY TEST: Click Here to take a free personality test to get your four-letter personality type. It even tells you famous people that share your type along with where you thrive and where you struggle.  Once you have both of your types, you can even click on “Jung Marriage Test” to read about your compatibility as a couple just for fun.  This is very fascinating and insightful!

TEST YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE: Click Here to test your top love languages.  Afterwards, take turns doing something in each other’s love language! 

TRAVEL from your Home:  This fun date night can be done multiple times with different countries you are interested in.  All dates could include eating food from that country, learning interesting facts about the country, watching a movie based there or about it, printing off some pictures, watching a short youtube tour of that country or famous city, and maybe even dancing to their music! For examples:

*France: Put out cheeses, fruits, French bread, and juice for “wine.”  Dance to French accordian music.  Google beforehand about “interesting facts about France.” 

*Italy: Make homemade pizzas together, play Andre Bocelli music, and enjoy painting!

*New Zealand: Eat Kiwis, learn about cool facts on Wikipedia, watch Lord of the Rings…

DINNER & JAR OF QUESTIONS: Beforehand, print out interesting, fun questions and place in a jar. Make a fun dinner recipe together.  While you eat, pull out questions that both of you have to answer.  Some examples are: What are some of your fears? Describe your relationship with your parents.  What are 5 passions that you have? What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?   What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?  What are 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could?  List 3 people have have influenced you and describe how.  What are some of your pet peeves?  What do you think are some of your greatest strengths/weaknesses?  How do you want to be a better spouse?  If you were an animal, what would you be and why?  What is the thing you most wish you were great at?  Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.  If you could have one superpower, what would it be?  List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.  If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be?  What is your favorite part of your body and why?  What do you think people misunderstand most about you?  List some things you would hope to be remembered for…

VIDEOTAPE EACH OTHER: Pull out of the video camera and record asking each other various questions.   Some examples are: What was your hometown like?  How well did you get a long with your siblings, parents, teachers? If you could re-do anything from the past what would it be?  What were you like in elementary, junior high, and high school?  What are some of your happiest memories from your childhood?  What are 2 of your favorite breakfasts, lunches, dinners, snacks, and desserts?  Name some of your hobbies.  How did you meet each other?  Name 3 of your favorite traits of your spouse.  List some of your favorite traits of each child.  What is your favorite color, animal, book, movie?  What was college like?  What is the craziest thing you have ever done?  What are some of your dreams for your family?  List 3 pieces of advice. 

PAINT SOMETHING OLD: Pick out a cheap piece of furniture at the Restore or DI or KSL and re-paint it together.  Or paint something you already have and fix it up! Or grab some cheap canvas and paint away. 

CREATE A VISION: Brainstorm your current goals and some of your longer-term visions for the future.  Use materials you already have to create some kind of  display to put on your refrigerator or in your bedroom.  Or you could place in sheet protectors and tape them up to the shower wall to read often! 

FUTURE DREAM HOUSE: Walk/drive around a fun neighborhood and dream about what you do/don’t like for your future home.  Or, draw out your ideal floor plan and talk about each room.

Bake cookies together and make ICE CREAM SANDWICHES. 

Light some candles, give massages, and have a SPA NIGHT.

PLAN an UPCOMING TRIP together, whether it’s just a one-day adventure or a couple day mini vacation with your kids.

PIGGY BANK.  Create some kind of “piggy bank” where you can start putting all your spare change.  Decide as a couple something fun you want to start saving for!  

Bring a blanket to a fun park and lay down and TALK UNDER THE STARS. 

Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom...

Life for me right now feels a lot like Bill Murray's Groundhog's Day... every day is the same.  Lots of this...  (whew, it's actually sorted here!)

and this...

and pouts... lots of pouts

Cleaning out the ETERNAL GRIME ... I will not post a picture of this.

and cleaning up this cute adorable face... :)

and handling melt downs...

and wiping this...

and trying to get them to eat things...

and reading the same cute book for the umpteenth time :)...

and needing more of this... that is actually having time to shower and get ready :) haha

and EVERYONE needing a whole ton more of GOOD SLEEP...  oh what am I ever going to do about that?!  And yes that is chocolate frosties all over them.

and oh the WORRY of a mother... I'm often stressed about something - how am I going to help a child through a certain issue, how are we going to get through the day...

 and I wish more of this... :) This happens to be a cute happy hug even though it looks like a death grip.

 So I'm thinking the answer is just I should never have to sleep!  Wouldn't that be such a gift to mothers?!  Anywho, here's some more confessions of HOW I COPE:

1. We CAN'T "STAY AT HOME" :)  Right now, havoc breaks out when we're home for too long.  My kids do SO much better OUT OF THE HOUSE... at a park, anywhere outside, exciting museums, a fun kid's place...  They don't usually fight as much or have nearly as many tantrums when we're OUT doing "kids" stuff.  It's a mother's therapy - and kids' therapy.

2. Sometimes just FORGET IT ALL, and LIVE IN THE MOMENT.  For me right now, I don't think having a continually clean home is anywhere near realistic.  I've tried :).  I think there's hope in just dropping it all for a while (when we can't fix or control it then anyways) and focusing on being happy and making your kids happy.  Last night, it was 9pm and the kids were still awake.  And... the house was a complete mess.  And... I was about it tears a few times yesterday with being completely overwhelmed as a mother.  And... I really needed to shower.  BUT... I found myself sitting on our messy kitchen floor and just laughing hysterically with my kids.  Hailey was randomly stuffing bread in my mouth :)  My tired self relished in the giddy happiness in their faces, and I guarantee we'll all remember that...

The Basic Tips from 3 Baby Books

The Happiest Baby on the Block:

The first couple months of a baby's life is like a "4th Trimester" as they transition from the womb to the world.  They desire an environment similar to inside their mother's womb.  Here's Dr. Karp's 5 S's to  help your new baby to be happier:

1. SUCKING - Newborns have a great need to suck, so nursing of course and pacifiers.

2. SWINGING - Similar to the womb experience, babies often love the motion of swinging side to side, riding in the car, walking the room with a parent, and rocking.  Our motor swing has been a complete life saver!  

3. SHUSHING - White noise machines or cds, "ssshhhh"ing loudly, vacuuming, turning on a fan can all be soothing.

4. SIDE/STOMACH position -  Holding your baby on the left side to aid in digestion or holding the baby on her stomach to provide support. Being held on their back often causes babies to startle. Once a baby is calmed down and sleeping, they can then safely be put on their back for sleeping.

5. SWADDLING - Tight swaddling provides the continuous touching and support the fetus experienced while still in Mom's womb.  Oh my Mobe Wrap has also made all the difference!  It gives me hope :) and extra hands which a young mom is always in need of.

Baby Wise:

Baby Wise's "flexible routine" of PDF (Parent-Directed Feeding) is the center point between strict clock-feeding on one extreme and demand feeding/child-led feeding at the other.  PDF provides tools to recognize and assess 2 potential problems with infant feeding: a) A child who feeds often, such as every hour, may not be getting the rich hind milk.  And b) When the cue is not present, the clock serves as a guide to ensure that too much time does not elapse between feedings (like if a baby is sick or is doing his longer sleeping stretches during the day instead of at night).  

For the first 7-10 days, don't look at the clock but rather focus on one thing --> getting a FULL feeding at each feeding - no snacking.  This often naturally falls into a predictable 2.5-3 hour routine.  But you do have to work on keeping your baby awake at each feeding since they are usually sleepy.  Average 8-10 feedings in 24-hour period

Normal Weight-Gain Guide:

Birth-2 weeks: Regain birth weight plus

2 weeks-3 months: 2 lbs. per month or 1 oz. per day

4-6 months: 1 lb. per month or 1/2 oz. per day

6 months: doubles birth weight

1 year: 2.5-3 times birth weight

Baby Whisperer:

Structured Routine - E.A.S.Y

Think of it as a recurring period more or less 3 hours long, in which each of the following segments occurs in this order:

E - Eating.  A normal baby, weighing 6 lbs. or more, can go 2.5-3 hours until the next feed.

A - Activity.  Sometimes this is as simple as changing a diaper.

S - Sleeping.  Takes 15-20 minutes to fall asleep.  Put baby down drowsy and soothed but still awake.  Put him down once you have met his needs.  The author never leaves a screaming baby, but she does put baby down the minute he's calm.    

Y - You.  Take care of yourself and possibly rest.  [And what if you have other kids? :)]

Storing Breast Milk:

• Freshly expressed breast milk should be placed in the fridge immediately and stored for no longer than 3 days.  
• You can freeze breast milk up to 6 months, but by then your baby's needs are different.  The miracle of breast milk is that the composition changes as your baby grows.
• Thaw breast milk by placing the sealed container in a bowl of warm water for about 30 minutes.  Never use a microwave (it breaks down the protein).  Shake the container to blend any fat that may have separated.  Feed thawed milk immediately or store it in the fridge for no longer than 24 hours.  You can combine fresh breast milk with thawed, but never refreeze.  

Breastfeeding Dilemmas: Hunger, Need to Suckle, or Growth Spurt?

Newborns have a physical need to suckle approximately 16 hours out of every 24 hours.  Growth spurts usually happen around every 3-4 weeks.  All-day hunger binges only last around 48 hours.  If your baby wakes up hungry one night, feed your baby that night, but the next day give her more feedings during the day to up caloric intake during growth spurt.  If your baby seems extra hungry only at night, it's probably not a growth spurt.  Rather, it's a sign that she's not getting enough calories and you need to adjust your E.A.S.Y routine to accommodate your baby's need for more calories.  This may be a good time to "cluster feed" in the evening (nursing at closer intervals).  Also, in the morning, after a good night's rest, your breast milk is richest in fat.  You could pump early in the day and save that fat-rich milk for a nighttime feed.  

Pacifiers

The author likes to use a pacifer for the first 3 months of life to give a baby adequate sucking time, to calm her before sleep, or when she's trying to help baby skip a night feed.  After that period, however, infants have more control over their hands and will be able to self-soothe using their own hands.  

Introducing Solids

Most pediatricians suggest waiting until your baby is 6 months old before starting to introduce solid foods.  By the 6th month, your baby needs the extra iron found in solid foods, as her store of iron has been depleted by this point.  Also, a baby's reflex to stick out her tongue when anything touches it has disappeared, so she is better able to swallow mushy solids.  Also by 6 months, head and neck control has developed.   

Sleeping Through the Night  [I'd like to add that the definition of "sleeping through the night" is technically about a 5-6 hour stretch, not the entire night!]

• During the day, never let a baby sleep more than a feed cycle - no longer than 3 hours - because otherwise it will rob his nighttime sleep hours.  
• One of the ways we get babies to sleep more at night is by filling their tummies.  When an infant is 6 weeks old, Tracy Hogg suggests 2 practices: cluster feeding - feed her every 2 hours before bedtime AND dream feeding - nurse baby in her sleep right before you retire to bed.  For example, you give baby the breast at 6 and 8 in the evening, and the dream feed at 10:30 or 11.
• If a pacifier isn't allowed to become a sleep prop, it can be very helpful in weaning a baby off the nighttime feed.  If a baby weighs 10 lbs. and he's getting between 6-8 breastfeedings, he doesn't need an additional night feeding for nourishment.  If he's still waking, he's using the opportunity for oral stimulation.  When he wakes up crying for the breast and yet he only feeds for 5 minutes, give him a pacifier instead.  The first night, he'll probably stay up the entire 20 minutes with the pacifier in his mouth before falling back to sleep.  The next night, it may cut back to 10 minutes.  The third night, he might fidget in his sleep at the time he'd normally get up for the feed.  If he wakes, give him the pacifier.  Eventually, he won't wake up for it.      

What They Need/What You Can Expect

Age/Milestones                             Sleep Needed per Day                       Typical Patterns

Newborn                                       16-20 hours                                          Nap 1 hour in every 3; 5-6               

                                                                                                                   hour stretch at night [wow,
                                                                                                                   that sounds pretty dreamy,          
                                                                                                                   Penny still gets up every 2-3]                                                                    

1-3 Months: more alert,                 15-18 hours, until 18 months               3 naps, 1.5 hours each; 8 hour

aware of their surroundings,                                                                      stretch at night   

able to move head

4-6 Months: Gaining mobility                                                                   2 naps, 2-3 hours each; 10-12 

                                                                                                                  hours at night    

6-8 Months: More mobility,                                                                      2 naps, 1-2 hours each; 10-12                           

able to sit and crawl                                                                                  hours at night

8-18 Months: Always in motion                                                              2 naps, 1-2 hours each, or one 

                                                                                                                big nap 3 hours long; 12 hours 

                                                                                                                at night

A Happy Couple's Secret Weapon...

We're back from our vacation to Arches National Park in Moab, Utah and are so missing it!... all of it except for the driving-little-children-straped-in-car-seats-for-way-too-long part!  Man, it was rejuvenating to get away - just our own little family - and play together.  Having a fresh re-charge is so healthy and absolutely necessary.  We even got to camp along a sandy beach surrounded by gorgeous red rock.  Camping with two littles also equated to our kids being perfectly toasty warm and us parents uncomfortably freezing all night :).  And lack of good sleep typically equates grouchiness.. and on rare occasions a case of giggles.   Luckily, I was in a continual giggly stage and everything Steve did or said was absolutely hilarious to me.  We had SO MUCH FUN laughing together that next day.  I re-discovered my love for the outdoors, AND I also re-discovered the POWER of FRIENDSHIP in marriage.  Husbands and Wives NEED to LAUGH more and to enjoy more shared experiences.  

John Gottman, well-renowned marriage therapist and researcher, wrote a great book entitled "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work."  Gottman not only knows his stuff academically and professionally, but he also has witnessed what works and doesn't work in marriage from his prolific research in observing couples.  In his introductory chapter he explains that a "happy couple's secret weapon" is "rediscovering or reinvigorating friendship."

THINK about WHAT HELPS CULTIVATE YOUR FRIENDSHIP?  Is it laughing together? thinking how your spouse sees love and then acting on that?  feeling attractive for your hubby?  serving others together?  thinking what he needs and trying to help meet that need?  going on a date just the two of you? Talking while giving back rubs? both of you feeling understood and validated? doing something fun together? ...

Whatever it is for you, I encourage you to rediscover the friendship you once had with your spouse... for it is a happy couple's secret weapon.

Exits & Entrances

Last winter our 3-year old got into the habit of yelling “Don’t’ Slip!” each morning as my husband braved the snow and ice.  Even in the hot summer months, she’d still race down the stairs to make sure to blurt out “Don’t Slip!” and throw her little arms tightly around his neck and touch thumbs while saying “BFF!” Once at the end of church one Sunday, our little daughter even yelled out “Don’t Slip!” to this 90-year old sweet woman with a walker and oxygen tank.  It was an awesome moment.

And three little people with noses and eyes smashed up against the window are happily clamoring for Daddy as soon as the door swings open, even our little baby starts kicking and smiling!  It’s like Christmas morning!  And other days there are kicking and screaming all around as the door swings open.  But… my kids inspire me to RE-DEDICATE MORE EFFORT AND ATTENTION AND EXCITEMENT TO OUR COMINGS AND GOINGS.  

Our good friend is getting his PhD in Marriage & Family therapy and he explained one of his professor's advice.  This marriage professor said whenever he'd step through the door, their family dog would go crazy - running around in circles, barking loudly, jumping up and down - that dog was so eager and excited for him to come home!  In this professor's marriage they now have a joke about trying to "Beat the Dog," meaning they try to show even more excitement than the dog about each other's arrivals :).

Some days I am watching the clock and so ready for my husband to come home and rescue me!  I often want to shove our cute kids into his arms and then fall down right there and sleep!  Or maybe all the worries from work or the stresses of life bog you down during these critical, important moments when your paths cross.

Just think.. how can I make it special when my spouse and I meet up for the first time each day or say goodbye in the morning?

The REAL Mother I've Become...

Oh the days while pregnant with my first.  I just had graduated with my college degree in Child Development & Family Life!  I scoured through books on sleep training to breastfeeding to learning how to become an official baby whisperer and "baby wise".  My husband kindly sat through 20 painful hours of Hypnobirthing classes and practiced all the positions during our "Labor Relaxation course."  I had him come to my lactation class, even though he was the only male in the whole room.  I even had us become "Red Cross CPR/First Aid Certified" just to be prepared :).  I can't even remember a thing we learned of course but just how we were the only ones there voluntarily!  With tours of the hospital and the changing table all set out, I thought I was so ready to become a mother.

Vivid in my mind were the expectations of what kind of mother I wanted to be.  A mother who...

actually got ready each day and looked super cute 

had patience and strived to live in the moment 

had a beautifully decorated home and cooked healthy, delicious meals 

took her kids to the library each week and continually taught them in fun ways 

wouldn't let my kids watch TV the first two years
breastfed my babies at least 12 months :) 

kept a consistent schedule and found time for personal fulfillment 

had well-kept kids with clean clothes and combed hair.... the list goes on and on

So here's a glimpse of what life has really been like this week...

As I look around the room I see milk spills on the table from days ago, oozing laundry piles, a gross casserole dish that took every second of my "personal time" during naps, old diapers that oh-so-need-to-be-taken-out, dishes so high in our tiny sink that you can't even begin to wash them, never being able to find a pair of the same socks, and rice remnants scattered across the floor because Brayden played with a bucket of rice while I was desperately trying to "get something done" and our vacuum broke right in the middle of cleaning it up.  We've watched Tangled for the upteenth time and Baby Einstein music is often ringing through my head.  If I manage to take a shower, I don't always have time to do much makeup and I am lucky to find something to wear that's both cute and clean.  Sometimes I worry that my toddler is going to turn into a giant cracker or a bag of fruit snacks since we are often on the go.  The print out of our assignment to talk in church this Sunday (which I haven't begun yet) somehow got permanently laminated to our kitchen table.  Which in a way is nice because I know I won't lose it!  We're back in diapers after a day of attempting potty training, and we were late to "library toddler time" but at least we made it!  About to run into the library, I quickly changed both kids diapers since thankfully our car is currently full of "treasures" and luckily extra diapers and wipes were included.  I gagged, being a pregnant mommy, and hurriedly stashed Brayden's mother-of-all diapers under the car wheel to throw away later.  As soon as I got home, I realized I forgot about that full diaper and drove right across it....

You're either totally disgusted and horrified at reading this (and therefore feeling better about how great you're doing)...  or you're thinking - "I'm not alone!"
As soon as Brayden started to walk and play well on his own, I had a stage of time when the house was actually pretty clean and I felt somewhat in control!  But then, we had another, and the seemingly eternal baby stage - incredibly cute yet greatly demanding - presses forward.

 I've learned that I'm far from that mother that I envisioned long ago, yet I've also discovered that family life holds life's most supreme joys.  I'm just completely tickled that my little lady just started walking and just beaming that Brayden can now say his entire ABCs!!  Even though I'm often wiping noses and putting on the continual procession of meals, there's precious moments that make. everything. so. worth. it.  Strengthening our marriages and cherishing these beautiful children God has given us really is life's most astounding experience!  I will never "have-it-all-together" but here are a few things I have found helpful:

1.   Focus on your STRENGTHS.   Anna Quindlen said, "The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself."  Each of us have unique gifts, I believe God-given gifts, that we can use to bless our families and the world around us.  Your abilities will be different from the mothers on your street or in your churches, but deep down - you have special nobility and greatness within.  Use those beautiful gifts right now and say "whatever" to the slew of abilities you currently covet.  

2.  Trying to find ways to THRIVE, not just survive.  Don't you often feel like you are in "survival mode" especially while rearing lots of little ones?!  Motherhood is a tremendously important and selfless work, but we need to remember who that self is.  What are some basic needs you have... emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, and socially?  See where you are struggling right now, and maybe pick one or two things this week to help take care of YOU.  This can give you added energy and strength!

3.  Daily vow "I'll TRY AGAIN tomorrow."  The beauty of life is we can keep trying again... we all lose our patience, we all have moments when we're not quick to forgive or be kind, we all face challenges.  Gratefully, children are pretty resilient and we are continually growing and learning which is all part of the refining process of parenting!  Good thing we get to go to sleep each night - even if we close our eyes with sorrow and regrets, we can wake up refreshed to try again.

4.  PRACTICE CHERISHING the moment.  Some moments are just exhausting and some moments frankly are boring at times.  But, I believe in the POWER of REMINDING ourselves to get down on all fours, to look our precious children in the eyes, to drop what we are doing and completely give our whole selves to them, to find those teaching moments, to laugh so hard our bellies hurt, and to soak up all the love and complete joy we have for our precious children.  We're definitely not going to "cherish" each day, BUT we can practice having more and more of those joyful moments.                

*I'd love to keep writing to put off this mess that needs cleaning and to pour out my soul encouraging you in this most paramount work, but I'll just end with one more thought:  Most likely you're not always the "mother" you once had envisioned, but YOU DO have GREATNESS within you.  You're not alone in all the motherly mayhem - it is a pretty crazy life that we live :).  But, it is also the greatest, most influential, most irreplaceable role on the entire planet.  You can't ever do it all, but you can KEEP ON doing the things that matter most.

Much Love,
Mindy

7 Motherhood Ideas that I LOVE!

I know I've told you already... but I adore this woman - Shawni - and the whole inspiring Eyre clan.  CLICK HERE to see her post  "7 motherhood ideas that I love."  Here are some fun ideas, most of wish I don't do now but dream to do in the future!

1. Movie Night: Each Friday night they pop popcorn, make chocolate-chip cookies, and watch a movie!

2. Interviews: Shawni's dad started a tradition of having a little one-on-one "interview" with each child once a week.  She explains, "He'd ask all kinds of questions. He'd help us figure out our goals. When we were really little he'd write the initial of our best talents on each of our ten fingertips.  He'd make us feel so great about ourselves. He'd ask what he could help with.... [she goes on to share] This is a tough thing to carry on with my kids because I'm not anywhere near as organized or as amazing as my dad. But I do enjoy writing occasional letters on my kids' fingertips and I have cornered them for an 'interview' on occasion. This year I've decided to try to do interviews on our monthly lunch dates, which is the next idea..."

3. Lunch Dates.  I LOVE, LOVE this idea for taking each child out of school lunch hour every now and then!  Shawni tries to do once a month.  Sure you may still have toddlers/babies tagging along, but it's still that child's "special day."  They get to choose the fast food place and you get some essential one-on-one time!  

  4. Mother's Day Letters.  I too feel so passionately about record keeping, and I'm sure it will get even crazier and harder to keep up on it as we have more kids.  I love writing them "notes" in their journals (of course not nearly as much as I would like!) of the strengths I see in them, of funny stories, and of how much I love the little things they do.  Shawni started a tradition of asking for a few hours each Mother's Day to sit down and write each of her kids a "love note" where she writes "how much I love them at every stage and what I've noticed about them each year." These are precious letters to compile and keep forever!

5. Clean Ten.  She says, "Whenever things get really cluttery...(ok, pretty much a few times a day) we just say "clean ten" and the kids have to each pick up and put away ten things."

6. Late Nights.  Shawni explains that "'Late Nights' are when the kids get to rotate each getting a turn once a week to stay up ten or fifteen minutes later than the others. They eat this up. It's such a short amount of time, but they think it's the luckiest thing ever when it's their turn and we love to give them some undivided one-on-one attention."

7. "Happies" & "Sads"  At dinner time you each take turns saying your "happies" (best part of your day) and "sads" (worst moment of the day)!  I've tried doing this at bedtime which can be fun too.  She says it's a great way to get some details and more of a discussion than just describing their day as "fine" or "bad." LOVE ALL THESE IDEAS! THANKS TO SHAWNI!